Downpour

20 Questions Book Tag!

Reading has been one of my most favourite pass times since 2014. When I was in my early teens, I read books because I thought I did not belong in the world I was thrust into. At that time reading was a way of escape from reality. As I grew older, I came in terms with who I was in a better way. Then reading became a kaleidoscope through which I could find a fresh perspective. Either way books have been a crucial part of my life.

So now that you know my history with reading, let’s move on to the tag!

1) How many books is too many books in a book series?

I think 4? At the most 5.

2) How do you feel about cliffhangers?

I’m okay with the right amount of cliffhangers. I can’t call myself a Percy Jackson fan if I didn’t like cliffhangers at all! If there are too many, I genuinely get irritated.

3) Hardback or paperback?

To be honest, it doesn’t really bother me. But I think I would prefer hardback because it somehow reminds me to sit in a proper posture! (I know I’m weird that way)

4) Favourite book?

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green. I feel like it has taught me so many things that are so relevant. I can’t wait to get my hands on the sequel! I’ve ordered the signed copy YAAAYYY!

5) Least favourite book?

I don’t want to cancel any particular author or book because i understand that it is really hard to write a book and publish it. But I don’t think I like Chetan Bhagat’s books that much. 5 point someone was pretty decent but I liked One Indian Girl the least.

6) Love triangles, yes or no?

Well, I liked them a lot when I was a 14 year old. But I don’t think I would enjoy them as much anymore. I’ve grown up to avoid as much drama as possible and love triangles represent nothing but (unnecessary) drama to me.

7) The most recent book that you couldn’t just finish.

Not anything, recent. But I did try to read David Copperfield once and I couldn’t bring myself to complete it.

8) A book you’re currently reading.

I’m reading Sivagamiyin Sapatham by Kalki. Its plot driven and I’m in love with all the characters. Most of the main characters are mostly my age and that makes the whole thing more fascinating. It’s shocking to see how the teenagers’ behaviour hasn’t changed since 650 AD!

9) Last book you recommended to someone

One of my friends recently started reading self help books. So I recommended her ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg. It’s pretty interesting.

10) Oldest book you’ve read (published date) : I guess that would be Sivagamiyin Sapatham. (1948)

11) Newest book you’ve read (published date) : Five Feet Apart ( 20th November, 2018)

12) Favourite Author

Had you asked me this question last year, my answer would’ve been John Green through and through. But I don’t know for sure now. I think the position is tied between him and his brother. Both of them help me understand the world in a better way.

13) Buying books or borrowing books

Buying for sure! I think it’s a better way to support the author you love. Moreover, I get anxious whenever I don’t own the book I enjoyed reading. I feel like I couldn’t get my hands back on it if I somehow get the dire need to re-read it.

14) A book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

Everyone has a story by Savi Sharma. My whole class was raving about it. I don’t understand how anyone could enjoy a book with so weak a plot. Also, like I said before, I kinda hate unnecessary drama and that book was full of it. I felt like only the geographical location was set in India and the social aspect of it was completely ignored.

15) Bookmarks or dog ears

Don’t even get me started on how much I hate d*g e**s!!!

16) A book you always re-read

Looking for Alaska. It brings me so much comfort in times of confusion. I feel like it’s a so underrated. It has the right amount of happiness and sadness, just like life. When I’m heartbroken, I usually read the first half of the “after” part and that makes me feel so much better.

17) Can we you read while listening to music?

Of course! When I read, I usually forget the fact that I’m in this world. So music doesn’t bother me in the least.

18) One POV or multiple POV?

If it’s a book with a complex plot then I would prefer multiple POVs. For example, when there’s a battle going on or something. But if it’s a slice of life kind of plot, I would like a single POV.

19) Would you read a book in one sitting or over multiple days?

Though I like reading a book slowly savouring every bit, I tend to complete the book at a stretch once I pick it up! Also other factors like how much free time I have and how interesting the book is plays a role too.

20) Who do you tag?

Well, I want to tag anyone reading this blogpost! Don’t forget to let me know if your doing this tag 🙂

Have a beautiful day! ✨

How to feel content?

This lock down has not been particularly kind to mind. Though I thought that I had mastered the art of not feeling nothing but apathy, I was proved wrong. Being stuck in a house with parents who are over-achievers and who expect you to be the same is not very easy. With some trial and error, I have gained my sense of self back and I’m much happier. So, I thought I might as well share the process with the world.

Stop caring. Spend a day without any expectations. I took a day off and did nothing but watch YouTube and chat with my sister. I did not expect my parents to treat me like a princess nor did I push myself to be a productivity grease monkey. Even when I felt like the people I’m stuck with are getting on my nerves, I did not react negatively because I had already decided that I would not care.
Journal. I tried to bujo a couple of years ago and it did not go well. That was because I was because I was trying to portray myself as either a martyr or victim. Also, I spent too much time working on the aesthetics. So, this time I did a couple of cute doodles and started writing my feelings out. Something about putting your thoughts onto a paper makes the obstacles you face seem much smaller and tangible. By now you must have figured out what the actual problem is.
Morning pages. This is named so because it is better done in the morning. But in my opinion, you can do it anytime. In this exercise, you need to write, i) something you are grateful for, ii) something you need to let go of, iii) your goal for the day. I felt quiet accomplished by the time I completed this exercise. And having one goal gives you both direction and keeps you from getting stressed out about all the things you need to do.
Enjoying the process. Last but not the least is building a mindset that keeps you from getting into the slump too soon. Instead of sorting the incidents in your life as either good or bad, try and look at them as incidents; incidents that made you grow. These events are the ones which shaped you into the amazing person you are today. You might not feel like you are amazing now, but remember, not everyone makes the effort to become a better person like you and that truly makes you amazing. Changing your mindset is more like a marathon than a sprint. I haven’t completely gotten into this kind of a mindset yet, but I’m actively working on it.

I hope doing theses things helps you become more content with your life! 🙂

On judging people you care about

Today I watched a video of Connor Franta titled “on ‘Assuming someone is gay’”. The video on the whole was good. But there was this one part of it that struck a chord in me.

At one point he says,

“When people tell they know something about you before you tell them like I knew you were gay and I could’ve said that you were depressed. Cool. Awesome opinion. That really makes me feel better that you were judging me? That really makes me feel so much more comfortable and I totally want to confide all of my secrets in you.”

This makes so much sense. But most of the times we ignore such judgmental comments because these are usually from people we are close to. Though it makes us feel like we are understood, it’s still deprecating. In my opinion, no one can understand another human better than that human itself. I mean, who could’ve guessed that a handsome looking studious boy would turn out to be the darkest villain of all time? (Except, maybe, Dumbledore. But Dumbledore is God.)

Some times the movies romanticise such judgements. They are made to look as if your life is settled if you’ve found a person of this sort. A person who knows that you’re in a bad mental state before even you do. But in reality, these people are the least understanding ones. They are the kinda of people who form a mental image beforehand and find it really hard to shift from that perspective. They have a hard time letting the reality sink in.

Let’s be honest, some of us are guilty of this sort of judgement too. But most of the times only good intentions are behind it. We usually say this stuff to the other person because we want them to know that they are not alone and they are understood. But in reality, we are actually making them feel inferior and uncomfortable.

There is a fine line between understanding and judging when it comes to the close relationships we have with our loved ones. One should make a mindful effort to not cross it. This will only make our bonds last longer.

P.s.

on ‘Assuming Someone is Gay’ – by Connor Franta

Why empathy doesn’t always work?

I’ve been thinking about the word “empathy” lately. What does it actually mean? The dictionary says empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

At the first look it seems like the right thing to do. When you see someone in pain, you try your best to understand them by actually putting yourself in their shoes. This is what helps people connect. But aren’t the shoe sizes different for different people? I mean… how can we ever know what the other person actually felt in that situation? Everyone reacts completely different in every situation

I’m not saying that empathy is bad. I just feel like we should be precautious about the people we empathise with. Sometimes we pour our heart into someone because we feel like they’re in a very bad situation in their life. We drain our energy for an issue that person doesn’t even care about.

For example, say that you are a sincere student who has never gotten into serious trouble whereas your friend is quiet your opposite. Imagine your friend getting caught doing a silly mistake and the school calls their parents. But you get really angry because you think that it’s unfair. Had you been in that same situation you would not have wanted your parents to know! So you try to stand up for them. You even consider arranging a protest.

But all this while your friend is trying to tell you to stop. She’s saying that it’s no big deal because it is not a big deal in their perspective. But will never understand that at that moment because you are too emotionally intertwined with that situation.

For some, this may seem like the right thing to do. But I don’t think so. I wouldn’t what to waste my energy on a problem the “victims” don’t care about. I’d rather spend that time writing another blog post.

What’s this?

I’m a girl in her late teens too fed up with the daily grind trying not to complain too much and staying as positive as possible. I also have a brain which overthinks so much that sometimes I get drained just by lounging in the couch. I guess, this blog is going to be about the things that puzzles and tires me. Hence, the name “downpour”- a place where I can share my thoughts and things I learn new everyday hoping that it’ll add some value to the world.

Hope you have a lovely day!